It’s time to admit, after more than 2 decades, I am afraid of the stupid blinking cursor on a white screen.
Hey, I’m Wes, and I make comic books. I’ve been making comics in some capacity for 23 years now. I started with small production tasks, doing odds and ends that needed doing and nobody really enjoyed, to coloring pages and covers, and then plotting ideas, and scripting, and writing, and editing, and pre-press, and creating whole worlds completely from scratch. I’ve done pretty much every job there is in comics, save for penciling full story pages (but there are pages that have my art drawn in them for one reason or another). I’ve done it all. And after all this time, I can finally admit that I am afraid of facing the blank page.
There are days or, or even weeks, when I know exactly what to do. Without trying to sound boastful, I know that I make a good comics. I’d like to say that I can write good prose, but I’m not there yet. It’s a different skillset, which I love and must continue to develop to scratch that lifelong itch to write a novel.
However, knowing that I make good comics, I can also admit that it is hard for me to do it.
I am comfortable coming up with ideas. Either new story ideas, or new concepts, or even just cool titles for potential future stories. There is a Google Document full of different ideas that I hope to do some day.
I have finally sat down to craft the beginning of a structure for the remainder of my comic series, Savage Sasquanaut. For too long I’ve had ideas loosely float around in my skull, and a few scripts in progress of completed, but I haven’t written out most of the ideas for the series, until now. Now I’m finally getting them down and trying to shape the narrative into a clear path, along with my editor (Austin).
And the fun part is, putting down the loose ideas and the details for different story ideas that I do have, has created more ideas. And I know, once I get more of the stories written, the plan will grow and more will be added to it as the story and characters evolve.
Jotting down the ideas and sharing them with Austin is so much fun for me. We share a similar creative wave link, and its very easy for us to share and enhance one another’s ideas. The potential for the story is probably where I’m most comfortable, because its free and easy and fun to wonder about “what if.”
I’m having a lot of fun. There’s more than 20 unique issues and storylines that I’ve put down over a couple of hours. Some ideas are more realized than other ideas that are presently one sentence concepts that I know need to be worked in. They all will grow with time and work, and more ideas will come.
Now writing the actual story and script, you know with a beginning, middle, and end, is the hard part, where the real work is put in. Obviously idea is already there, but the execution, committing to specific choices and direction and leaving the comfort of “what if” is where I can struggle to push forward. Taking an idea, characters, and breathing life into them. This is the critical work that connects and continues narratives in a satisfying manner, and in a way where everyone else who doesn’t live inside my head (i.e. anyone not me) can follow and understand is the hard part.
It’s putting my mind and heart on the page for the world to consume and judge as “good” or “bad.” Every creative individual I’ve ever spoken with always tries to make the best “thing” they are making. Nobody is trying to make anything bad, though at times there can be overwhelmingly limiting restraints that can prevent a creation from realizing its full potential.
I’m not saying that a comic script is the hardest thing to write, it’s really not. It does not require the same command of language that is needed in good prose. Comic scripts really only require enough ability to convey the idea to the artist(s). Artists are the audience for a comic script. They have the hardest work to translate those ideas into a visual language the reader can understand. Art is where the magic really happens in a comic. Good art and storytelling can make a terrible script into something infinitely sellable, or turn a wonderful story into utter rubbish.
There are challenges in comic scripts that the writer must understand, like: pacing, what looks good on a page, not writing multiple actions into a single panel, good dialog and the ability for characters to each have different voice, and more. I believe these are skills anyone can learn (and more). But ultimately, a really good artist can make up and correct for many of the elements that are lacking in a script.
Because any good comic writer will most certainly alter the dialog and text that will appear on a page once the art is done. Yes, the script can and will impact the art, but the art will impact the script. The “Marvel-method” of scripting is (in)famous for essentially being Stan Lee, or whomever, providing an artist with a line or paragraph about an issue, and the artist creating everything from there, and then Stan would write his purple prose and dialog after the book was drawn.
I’m digressing.
Again, there are times I find it challenging to write, and others where it is pure bliss. And maybe I’ve finally figured out my actual kryptonite when it comes to writing, and it’s often been excuse for a lack of progress, though I didn’t quite fully connect and understand why.
Looking back through the 20 something years, and considering the writing I’ve done I finally figured out a common thread. My most productive comic writing comes when I know who I’m writing for. Who is going to draw the comic, and having an understanding of the artist’s strengths and weaknesses, and also their personal preferences. What does the artist like to draw?
When I was developing Sky Sharks, Fred Perry and I settled on doing a more “Marvel method” of scripting the issues out. And with that style, Fred gave me 3 directives to put in the story that he wanted to draw: action, tech, and girls. And if you know Fred and his work on his record-setting Gold Digger series, that’s an apt description of what he mostly draws. So in Sharks, I would write a page or two that would include some specific ideas for scenes and the order they came and a couple quick thoughts for dialog that I had, and he would go and draw the issue, write in his take on the script to give to me to then review, rewrite what I felt I needed to reflect more of my voice and intent, and of course to then color. We went over everything together and had a great time.
Craig Babiar and I have worked off and on for my entire comics career, and we have made the most comics together of any artist I’ve ever worked with. We have a very good understanding of one another and I write stories that lean in to his strengths. Writing for Craig, is very easy for me. I enjoy it immensely. If I were Robert Kirkman or Mark Millar wealthy, I’d pay him enough to quit his day job and we create new books non-stop. That’s my dream. In reality, our jobs pay bills, and that along with “life” dictate our productivity more than anything.
But I have to admit, productivity is also negatively impacted by the fear of the blank page. My fear of making something bad. But also from my fear of not know who will draw what I write, and if that unknown artist can draw what I envision. Artists have different strengths and weaknesses. Being familiar with your collaborator will allow you to better shape and direct the story to feed into those strengths and avoid those weaknesses. Not everyone can draw everything, knowing that is in your interest, but as I must come to accept not something that should hold me back.
This is where I find myself with most of my ongoing projects. And it freaks me out.Yes, I have art done for comics that have not come out yet, and other scripts that are done but not yet being drawn. And my skin is crawling with anticipation of what comes next. There is quite a bit of work to keep me busy at the moment, but I am so anxious and excited for everything else too , that it can be borderline paralyzing. And considering the glacial pace everything I currently have is proceeding, it would be easy for anyone to assume that I am at least be getting ahead in scripts and stories.
As I said, I have a long list of ideas that I want to do, and it continues to grow and grow. So why aren’t I able to just push forward?
I think I can finally admit to myself that I’m afraid of the blank page. Afraid that I won’t make something good enough, and that is especially try for me when I don’t know who I am writing for. Admitting that is very challenging, but I’m hoping that by doing that, I can overcome it.
Good news!
I managed to write a new script after making this realization and admitting it to myself. It’s a short story, but it’s one that I have needed to get done for a while. And the funny part is, it’s not the story that I was planning to write. It’s a different story that spiraled out of brainstorming and paves the way forward whereas my initial concept was looking back.
I may struggle with the question of who will I be writing for, believe me it makes a difference, but it’s past time to acknowledge this fear to be able to set it aside and move forward. As a comic writer, I am capable of crafting good and fun stories, even if I don’t know who will execute that vision. I can write, and when the time does come, have faith that the correct and capable artist will be there. I’ve always desired to have a constant regular collaborator to create with. A Ryan Ottley to my Robert Kirkman if you will permit the comparison. That may not happen, but it may still. But, I definitely cannot wait around for someone to come around to create with, I am more than capable of doing it, even if that blinking cursor on a screen feels like it’s laughing at me.
I must bring myself to recapture the spirit and attitude I felt before I started this self-publishing and crowdfunding adventure. Too much has happened, too many question marks, broken promises, false starts, and dead ends that I have managed to overcome to put my vision into the world to gather fantastic fans and positive feedback. I cannot let the fear of the unknown stop me. I can write for my dream artist(s) and go from there.